Days are going so quick and I haven’t had a chance to really soak it all in because I’ve been so distracted with work. But I think about you, all the time. Even knowing I’d see you after work. Im holding on to every inch and piece of you because when you leave, its all I would have left of you. And I hate that I don’t get a chance to see you on my days off because I haven’t had any. I don’t get to sleep in with you and waste a day. And today, all I could think about was our first San Francisco trip. And today, all I wanted to do was go away with you somewhere. Anywhere. So I lied. I said I had an emergency tomorrow and that I couldn’t make it to work. So that just for tomorrow, I could be with you. Even if you had a thousand other things to do. Maybe a small part of that thousand could be half a second of me waking up to your chest. A half a second I could catch a view of your smile with your nerdy retainers on. But then you said you’d be busy. And its not your fault, because you didn’t know my reason behind it or what I did to get to it. Bad timing, I suppose. I’m sorry. If I came off pushy. Needy. Clingy. Selfish. My intentions aren’t to be at all any of the above. I am trying to be as supportive as I can. I am trying to make you laugh as much as I can. I am trying to create… as many pointless memories til the sand falls to its last drop. So that you don’t forget me. Because you’ll go away. And I wouldn’t see you. And you’d be busy. And I’d wait but I wouldn’t tell you I was. And you’d come back to visit. And i’d act like I’ve been busy. And then you’d leave again. And i’d keep waiting. And you’d be traveling. Learning. meeting new people. And you’d forget. And I’d probably still be waiting even if I wasn’t trying to. Its going so quick. Everything is moving so quick. The months are passing without my permission and before you know it, you’ll be leaving for your training and we’d end even if were not really finished. Because we agreed we’d do so. But nonetheless, I miss you already like you’ve been gone for ages. And I feel like it isn’t going to be any easier when it hits. I just.. I love you. The kind of love people hate to give because it leaves you vulnerable and usually is given to the worst possible person who can hurt you the hardest. But you can’t hurt me.Thats the fucked up thing about this kind of love; I agree to let go of something that people constantly look for because I love you. If that makes any sense at all. This.. doesn’t make sense at all. I don’t have any clarity of anything in my head right now. I sound ridiculous.